On being blessed

I got a letter from a student this week telling about an experience his or her family had with cancer. A favorite paragraph says this: "I'm writing this to you because I know that you must be going through a really hard time, but don't lose faith in God. He can do anything, even if it seems impossible. When my sister's results after surgery came negative of cancer, doctors could not explain it. Don't lose faith in God; he has control of your LIFE. Don't worry he will be with you. Not even doctors can tell you what will happen to you. If HE made a miracle in my sister, He can make it with you too. Only God knows when you will have to go."

Another part says "God made her go through this so that she was able to testify about God's power."

I'm so humbled and blessed by this. Also I wish I could take credit for her nearly impeccable writing (there were absolutely NO editing in there by me!), but... that's not me.

That's not me. It's a phrase I feel like I need to say all the time lately. "You seem so strong..." Oh... that's not me. "I don't know how you're able to be so lighthearted..." Oh... that's not me either. That's the prayers and God and everyone who is there for me all the time picking up all my weaknesses. That's not me.

I think that I may have mentioned once or twice that leaning on other people is extremely hard for me. I like to be independent and strong and to not need people.

But, I do. All the time. Especially now. And it drives me NUTS sometimes and I just want to stop dealing with everything. Sometimes I get frustrated, and sometimes I get sad. And sometimes I just want to stop feeling. And also I get a little dramatic, like that last sentence, which isn't even really a thing.

I think that has to be ok with a God who intimately knows how human I am. I mean, he can do anything. He's got control of this situation, and he knows what he's doing. All I can do is keep moving forward with his help and testify about his power.