Oh, there's Dunkin Donuts next to Espresso. And also everywhere else inthis city, for that matter

Some days I just need to get out if the house. I've been spending a lot of time in it recently as I no longer teach (although that time is coming to a close which is really awesome although slightly terrifying because that voice in my head says that I've probably started to suck more and I'll have no management and blah blah blah... Shut up voice.)

Anyway. Today I needed to get out. Now, I probably could have asked someone to come out with me. People are generally great and stuff. But for some reason I wasn't REALLY interested in having company.

So this is my life. I got on one of the buses that chills at the bottom of the hill by my house. They cost 11 lempira (50 cents) and are usually about full by the time we get close to my destination. I think I'm supposed to tell you it's an adventure, but during the day it feels pretty safe and its a really convenient way to get to places in its route.

So I hop on the bus (and wait for a bit as they finish cleaning it out... The joy of living at the beginning of the route!) and off we go.

My first stop was Espresso Americano, m y coffee shop of choice. I love it more than Starbucks. Cafe Latte, check. Grading, check. Retrieve iPod from secret hiding place among my clothing, check.

And as I sat there, sipping and grading, I felt so at home. It was like home working on job stiff or reading by myself in Grand Rapids or lesson planning on my own in Milwaukee. Except for, of course, the mountains and sunshine out the window that was separating me and the 82 degree weather, of course. Can't say that's normal in December in Michigan or Wisconsin.

And I realized how little time I spend out on my own here. I travel in groups. Always. And I'm getting comfy in my groups. I'm loving it. It makes me feel like me to have go-to people and consistency and I really am so grateful for my dear friends here.

But when I think back to my on my own moments during the months I spent out of college but not yet in Honduras, I learned so much while spending more time alone. I was more comfortable with myself when I learned to enjoy my own company. I felt independent, adult, and alive. I felt confident and content.

And my relationship with God was different. Somewhere in that mix of driving on my own to places on my own... I spent more time thinking about and praying to and listening for him and less time thinking about and listening to and thinking what clever things I was going to say to someone else. It was different.

Maybe I'll have to add alone time into those routines I'm getting used to. Spend time getting to know myself on my own again and get used to how I've changed. Spend time with God and maybe even deal with that voice in my head a bit.


Or maybe it just an excuse to get more donuts. You never can tell.

My Grandma e-mails me nearly every day. I try to respond, although I wonder whether or not she gets them because my questions always go unanswered. And sometimes I don't respond right away or think about waiting a day, and then I get another one.

Because she e-mails me, regardless of whether or not I respond. It's not about her needing something back from me. It's about letting me into her life and telling me what she's thinking about and asking what she's wondering about and always ending with "love you and am praying for you. Grandma."

And I wonder... how did I get so blessed? How do I have so many people supporting me and loving on me? Why was I born into a family where I have Grandparents and Parents who pray for me on such a regular basis?

So blessed.

Miracles

We were talking about miracles in Bible Study tonight.

One miracle I should have mentioned buy didn't is the amazing healing happening in my body. It's still shocking to me how much progress it has made in just a few weeks.

Another was bible study itself. It's been a second-guessy sort of week, and it was exactly what I needed to feel included and wanted and loved.

Yay for miracles.

Here's hoping to go back to school next week?