Things unseen

I get really frustrated with my first class of the day. They talk a lot and fail quizzes and don't turn things in and get on my nerves. So what I'm basically saying is that they are 7th graders. Gah. I'm always so grumpy by the time I get done with them and then my mood gradually improves as I hang out with the rest of my classes for the rest of the day.

Except today my mood didn't really get better. I'm wallowing. A lot. And there's a part of me that is loving it.

You see, feeling miserable and entitled to feel miserable is a little like watching trashy tv. You know it's really not the best use of your time and that there is no point and its a bad choice, but something about it just feels so good in a horrible way.

So I wallow. And then I wallow some more.

Why blog on days like this? Because these are the type of days that I look back to old posts to reassure myself that I've been here before, and I've dealt with it and moved on and things are never as bad as I think they are.

Tonight got an email from a student in that first class asking about some extra credit stuff and after I replied, she sent me another email apologizing for herself and her class and signed it "love you."

I read some really thoughtful journal entries. I figured out better ways to teach some sentence problems today.

Will I wallow tomorrow? Maybe. Will I wallow forever? Nah. History and even today says the good in life is still there even when I can't (read: choose not to) see it. Also wallowing is exhausting.