Roots

Today I feel dry.

My skin, well, yes, it's been a while since it's had any sort of proper care. Silly 5:30 am showers.

But not really my skin.

I am in the midst of my 4th week of teaching, and I'm feeling drained. My enthusiasm, my ideas, my stamina... it's all waning. I'm feeling my inadequacies more, I'm feeling my inexperience more, and I'm feeling my inaccessible standards of success weighing down on me. I'm also feeling my English slipping away with each verbal or writing interaction with students. Whoops.

I sat alone in my room today, and I felt it all. The weight that has been building over the end of last week and this week finally hit me, and I felt the real threat of being crushed by it.

I came home, called my mom, and fell apart. I sent facebook messages to people who I trust. I gchatted with dear friends. I even got a "short" phone call in. All those roots, the relationships that, although they are farther away than I'd really like, dug in to hold me into place.

It sounds corny, I know. Nerdy, yes. But it's truly what I feel and see when I think about tonight.

It's so nice to have people to draw on when I feel like I've got nothing left.

Thank you.