Sometimes I worry that I'm not right for this. I worry that I'm not a good enough teacher or Christian or person to even attempt something like this. Really, me? This?

But when I stop to think (which let's face it, hasn't been a whole lot this week), well, I still don't have any answers. So I guess that was probably a bad start to a paragraph.

But when I don't stop to think? Is that better? It certainly happens more often these days... But when I don't stop to think, I feel more or less peaceful. Overwhelmed, yes. A little stressed and apprehensive about getting life together before classes start? Certainly. Worried about myself? See top paragraph. But despite those doubts, I don't really have them about whether or not this is where I should be right now. Perhaps that doesn't even make sense. But it still feels real.

I'm so incredibly grateful for the group of people who are here who are probably a huge part of that peace.

I would generally say that large groups overwhelm me and make me feel extremely uncomfortable and awkward. And I get really awkward around new people sometimes.

I also struggle with outright, sincere Christians. I don't know at what point I became so jaded and therefore mildly embarrassed to be overtly Christian, but it's definitely out of my comfort zone and usually something I avoid.

But both the returning and new teachers here seem so genuine. Even though the majority of them seem much more open about their faith than I'm used to, I trust them. I find that they seem to be real, human, genuine people who I legitimately enjoy being around and who I am very grateful for.

In other news, I hailed a taxi in Spanish today. Also I accidentally forgot to barter with one because what he said was too much. So that was embarrassing. But overall, hooray.

I also wrote my classroom procedures out today. It's kind of like a syllabus that doesn't have the schedule for the year in it. I followed someone else's pretty closely, but it still feels a little surreal that I'll be going over it with my first class in a little less than a week. I'm still working to wrap my head around that fact.

I also found out today that my students will almost certainly know One Direction and Justin Beiber. This, along with everything else, means I can go to bed with a smile. If I didn't have so much to do to prepare, Friday couldn't come soon enough. :-)